Friday, August 04, 2006

Dear Miss Crazy:

Chapter One:

What is a conservative?

Strangely enough, conservatives aren't all that much different than regular people like you or me. In fact, if not for the fact that they are unable to refrain from speaking loudly for periods of longer than 45 seconds, they might outwardly blend right in with the rest of normal society! (This is not taking into account the fact that the vast majority of conservatives have chosen the guise of well-dressed overweight white men, thereby making them much easier to spot.)

No, to see the most important differences, one must look inside.

As you can see here, rather than housing the standard brain that most people have, this area of a conservative instead is outfitted with something called an "RR" Chip, which stands for "Rhetoric Regurgitation." This chip allows the conservative to subconsciously and automatically recall catch-phrases, topic-twisters, incorrect but unverifiable support information and party-approved spins whenever necessary. This also renders the conservative incapable of independent thought. Much like many others in the animal kingdom rely on their instinct, the Conservative relies on this chip to provide the information necessary to live a very comfortable life, completely devoid of questioning.

While this is probably the most important internal difference between conservatives and humans, there are a few more that you can view HERE

Source: Aaron at

He also has a very interesting article on how to "talk" to a conservative.

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