What if your fire department was run like an HMO?

From the Data Port blog:

If fire departments were run like HMO's:

Your house is on fire. You dial your fire service and have the following conversation.

FMO:“Fire Prevention Maintenance Organization”

YOU: : “Quick, send the fire truck, my house is on fire”

FMO: “Just a moment, Sir, have you called your fire evaluation gate keeper to determine that yours is an eligible fire?”

YOU: “No I haven’t, for God’s sake send the fire truck!”

FMO: “Oh, Puleeze! We can’t spend money sending fire trucks out willy-nilly. Is yours a pre-existing fire? Are you requesting a merely elective fire extinguishment service?”

YOU: “No of course not…hurry.”

FMO: “Certainly, Sir, We’ll send one out immediately. Would you care to make an appointment?

YOU: “What do you mean would I care to make an appointment? Of course not, my house is on fire. Do something now!”

FMO: “Well I’m sorry, sir, but some of the fire departments are no longer with us, because we didn’t pay them enough. We have an excellent fire department in Casa Grande, shall we send it?

YOU: “Yes, anything, please…koff koff.”

Pretty scary, huh? Can anything be done? Sure it can. Demand that a public option be part of healthcare reform.

I love it!