Monday, May 26, 2008

A few cheap shots and McCain being old:

Best thoughts about McCain being old:

1. He was an ace pilot in the war. In fact, he survived at least one dogfight with the Red Baron.

2. He went to junior high school with Strom Thurmond.

3. If McCain loses the election, he could team up with Bob Dole on those viagra commercials.

4. If they make another 'Indiana Jones' movie, McCain could play himself in it.

5. He thinks of himself as a Republican maverick, like Teddy Roosevelt. In fact, the truth be known, McCain really is Teddy Roosevelt.

6. McCain had a chance to sign the Declaration of Independence, but he decided to steer an 'independent' course and try to reach across the aisle to the British instead.

7. McCain is against torture. He became convinced it doesn't work during the Inquisition.

8. McCain, as a teenager, used to baby sit Ronald Reagan.

9. McCain's confusion over which Muslims are the Shiites and which are the Sunnis is understandable. He's used to thinking of them all as Saracens.

10. McCain has recently been speaking out against Global Warming. He remembers how hard it was for everyone the last time the ice sheets melted and flooded the land bridge to Asia.

11. And finally-- Al Gore may have invented the internet, but McCain has never been properly credited for his invention of the fishing net.

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